This is a guide to true communication via digital messaging.
This guide encompasses any form of sending and receiving messages of true communication via a device, while not in the immediate presence of the audience. Email, texting, and posting to social media are examples. Phone and video calls are excluded, as they house immediate interactions.
Consider true communication versus conversation maintenance gaming when using digital messaging.
People attempting to act upon meaningful purpose through digital messaging must avoid falling into the common Second Millennial trap of continuous conversation maintenance gaming. I, as one who falls (less and less) into the gaming trap, write this guide for those who wish to exit or avoid it.
Digital messaging allows people to create an environment of gaming. Rather than having true communication, a game of responding to each incoming message may be played. The players are under the rule that statements or messages stimulate a dopamine release, and that the sender should receive a fair response.
Value of individual messages is unimportant. It’s more important that you respond right away, no matter what it is, because you’re afraid the other person would be offended by a lack of response. By neglect. You don’t want to seem like an ass.
It becomes an endless cycle – unless you end it.
You can secure use of digital messaging for true communication through disciplined methods.
Here is how.
Restrict words to communication. Ineffectuate your device from its gaming function. Repurpose it for communication – sending and receiving messages that matter, at the right times or not at all.
Do this by placing the device in Airplane, or applicable non-receiving, mode when you are focusing on something important. When you’ve finished, move on to the next important thing you want to do. Or take rest.
If or when you want to check your digital messages, simply switch the device reception back on. Choose what to read.
Then, when you, the aspiring master of your destiny, have read what is worthy of your attention, decide carefully if there is anything you want to respond tonow.
Author a precisely stated response. Consider answering any inquiry and illuminating any obscure statements that might be in the original message. Initiate further thought or action with your correspondent if you think it is necessary.
Engineer your message to exact the outcome which you desire. Consider the timing of the recipient’s response to your message; whether you want a response at all; whether you desire fact vs. opinion. With thoughtful words, all of these can be shaped to your wish.
If your presence was requested, and you decide that you will oblige, give clear and limited options of dates and times and places of your availability. If you are unsure of the value of the meeting, unapologetically ask for more information or kindly refuse.
If no favorable outcome could result from your response, turn the receiver back to off, and return to present waking life as you please.
Perhaps a desirable interaction will come your way another time. Now, you can continue with meaningful purpose to change the universe.
And remember: do this in love for yourself. It will allow you to love your people.