Tag: decision

Big decisions and keeping up kettlebell training

In making big life decisions, there’s the weighing of pros and cons, the cost analysis, predicting the emotional impact, and measuring the effect on your loved ones. In the end, though, there is the decision. Sometimes you make that decision based on the sum of all the math, however inaccurate, you did. But I think it comes down to something deeper. There’s a feeling, an inner arrow, or a surrounding vibe that you sense as you let go of your grip on the details.

Let yourself feel the pull of your daemon, and you may come up to find that you’re facing the other direction, or that you’re a lot further down the path to a decision than you thought.

I’m working through some major life decisions now and am coming close to the end of the process. Not sure where I’ll end up yet, but wherever that is, I’ll be sure to place myself there with full commitment.

Currently, my kettlebell regimen has been suffering, but I’m still going with it. With a long commute, I haven’t been getting a lot of sleep and I’m eating dinner pretty late. This is catching up to me. I am very grateful that I can have dinner with my wife, our dog nearby, and that the sleep I get is in a quiet and dark place. I have also been traveling quite a lot, almost every weekend for the past month. Training every day with the 32kg kettlebell was hard, too hard, with my small recovery time.

I took a break for almost a week at the end of July. During the weekends that I traveled I took days off from kettlebell training as well. All in all, I trained an average of four days a week in July, and three days a week in August.

This is rough on my psyche, because I take pride in my training. I feel accomplished, energized, and ready to rock for the entire day after a morning kettlebell session. I’m happy that I gained strength over time with such a simple tool as the iron bell. Not being able to train for so many days of the week is not easy to deal with.

It’s alright though. For now I’ll keep doing my best. The hardest part is getting up in the morning and starting my routine. If I lay down to nap for a bit, or if I take too long making my coffee, I won’t have time for training. The trickiest part is going to bed earlier. There’s not much time from walking in the front door to greeting my wife and dog to eating dinner and going to bed. I want to draw my time with my wife out longer, but I withdraw from my morning when I do.

Yeaterday, I did my first full training session in five days. It felt great. Still doing Simple and Sinister, 100 swings and 10 getups. Swings are two handed right now. I ventured into one handed swings a couple of weeks ago, doing one set for each side.

Boy is that 32kg heavy. I’m able to get the bell up to the top of my abdomen, but not quite fully up to chest level. And my movement is restricted with the strain. Yesterday was all two handed swings. Got in a small set of pullups before lunch. I love days like that.

Today was a day off, because I had to write out some plans in the morning. That’s fine. I’ll get back into it tomorrow morning.

Live powerfully,

Steve

Choose Better

You have more options available if you meditate.
This happens because meditation can help you make high-level decisions. What does high-level mean? It means that the decision comes from a calm, focused state of mind. You will be more and more able to judge a problem and create a solution for it that works in a positive way. You will be able to rely on your logic, experience, and instinct. The instinct you rely on will be of a deep nature, rather than a reactionary instinct.
On the contrary, a low-level decision is reactive. Something scares you, and you jump. Someone makes you angry, and you attack. There’s little focus on the underlying problems. Attention turns from what matters, to what is in front of your face. There’s lots of hurrying, hustling, and bustling to put out fires.
Think of Bruce Lee dodging a punch. He could spin around and crouch into a corner with his hands covering his face. Low level decision. No other options will present themselves. Or, he could side-step, let that incoming fist graze his cheek, and punch straight back into his opponent’s face. Deep instinct. He’s still on his feet, still has his eyes open, still has his composure. Lots of options.
Real world example? Okay, here. Has your boss ever come up to you with a quick request for something irrelevant and totally not on your priority list? What was your response? Did you end up just doing it? Why?
Enter high-level mindset. Your default response is no longer, “Okay I’ll do it right now”. Instead, your natural, deep-instinct feeling tells you this is not as important as it may seem. It’s something your boss may not realize is irrelevant. She’s in a rush for it because her boss wanted it from her. You’ve got more important things to do. Really. But you know you shouldn’t tell her that.
So you say, “Okay, I can see that’s pretty urgent. I’m working on xyz right now, that you wanted me to get done by tomorrow. It’s taking my whole week and I’m making sure it’s finished by when you need it. Do you want me to put this aside, though, and help with this new issue first?” And watch the world take a different turn.
High-level decision. The more of these you have, the less busy work you end up doing. That’s because you’re coming from a place that is focused on getting the right things done. It’s the beauty of “managing up”. You are able to recognize, from your unique standpoint, what’s important. And when you recognize what’s important, you give less urgency to things that aren’t important. No one, not even your boss, wants to be seen as ineffective. If done with respect, you will get respect for prioritizing.
Your emotions will no longer stop you from finding the most effective ways to get it done. If your heart was beating fast from reading the above scenario, you’re not alone. Mine was too. I’ve been in that situation countless times. Only when I developed a hold of my mind, control of my actions, did I start responding better to such emotional circumstances. And I grasped it through meditation.
Let me share something from the other side of it. I was also the boss of employees. And I also put my staff through these situations. I need something, quick. Please do it. Put aside your other tasks, this is more urgent. I saw that with this management style, people were doing what I asked. But often, they had more important things that were getting swept aside.
As I discovered that meditation was helping me become effective, I wanted to help my staff develop the same sort of prioritization. Not everything I say or ask for is of the utmost importance. Let me know if I’m out of line. I cultivated an atmosphere of dialogue.
This was healthier for my team. People needed to be able to do the good work they did. So I started to encourage push back. I would tell people to actually let me know if what I’m asking was getting in the way of something more important. And guess what?
When one of my employees took a deep breath, turned and looked me in the eye, and sincerely said, “I have abc that needs to be done first. Can I help you after?” More often than not – as a matter of fact almost always – I would rethink my priorities.
Do I really need this thing? What’s most important for the organization –  for our mission? And if my request paled in comparison, I would delay it, do it myself, or tell my boss we had more important things to do.
So there you have it.
If you come from the right place, you can take ownership of the situation. You can stop the freight train, take a breath, and set priorities before making a move. It doesn’t matter if you are an executive or a front-line employee. Make high-level decisions. Have more options.
Meditation brought me to that place. Have you tried this?
Live powerfully,
Steve

Rested Decision Making

If you’re in management or an office job, and feel that sleep is not that important, you’re not alone. If you do think sleep is important, but just don’t get enough, you’re absolutely not alone. A lot of people in this world feel the same. I used to think lack of sleep was a cool thing, a war wound, a chip on my shoulder. But I learned the importance of sleep and rest after seeing the difference it made in my performance.

Sleep not only helps with things like strength training and illness recovery, but also with decision making.

I was a supervisor of a call center that handled phone calls with grieving families. There were intense calls and important decisions to be made every day. We operated at all hours of the day. It was hard to get a full night of sleep, let alone a full recharge of my batteries. Most of my years working there were in sleep deprivation.

There was a point where I started to pay attention to my rest. I wanted to recover from chronic exhaustion and tiredness. So I started looking into ways to get more sleep, and to rest my mind when I wasn’t in the office. I found that when I was able to get a full night of rest, I had high executive function. My decision making power was greater, and decision fatigue was offset. I think the biggest reason for this was that I was more able to prioritize.

With a full night of sleep, I was better able to manage my time and tell people “no” or reschedule things. I had more mind energy to deal with the stress of saying “no”, and more foresight as to the importance of doing so. Because I was able to see the full picture, I knew that it was of the utmost importance that I handle the task that mattered most. With insufficient rest, I had trouble dealing with persistent requests from people bringing up non-urgent issues.

When I prioritized well I was able to keep myself from doing spur of the moment biddings from others. Less distractions meant more focus on the important things. This fed a positive feedback loop. I felt better because I was doing things that mattered, and doing things that mattered made my day easier to navigate, and this made me feel even better.

I also felt more positive when I had a full night of sleep. A positive approach helped me say “no” to people in a generous, gentle way. I didn’t have to offend anyone through rejection, and I didn’t have to feel bad about it. I had the energy and mindset to be kind to people, even when they had the most urgent or emotionally charged problems thrown in my face. It was simply a matter of letting them know I would get back to them shortly. And I did.

I was doing the most important, and often the hardest, things, feeling great about it, about getting it done, about the rest of the day getting easier because of that. Prioritizing and keeping on task really does snowball into amazing days, and sleeping a full night increased my chances of doing this. And this really allowed me to treat others with more attention and respect, because I was taking care of myself and my work.

When fully rested, I trust myself more. I have a more positive view of myself, my abilities, and I dive into difficult tasks or situations because I know they are important and I know I can handle them. If I’m tired, this becomes much harder. My self confidence goes down, naturally, because I’m not sure if I have the energy to handle tough situations. How can I when I myself don’t feel taken care of? I think it’s just natural.

Strong trust in myself means I stick to my instincts, follow my gut, and let my intuition lead. In turn, doing this makes me feel better about myself. I’ve gone a certain route based on my own feeling, and found good results. I reinforce the idea that I’m trustworthy and capable.

Lastly, with plenty of sleep, time seems more abundant. I just feel more relaxed, even with deadlines or the end of the day approaching, or in really critical circumstances, because I feel more capable of using my time. I just know that I can handle whatever comes, and things don’t seem overwhelming.

For some good reference on the importance of sleep, check out Arianna Huffington. I heard about her book on sleep through the GaryVee show. She has recently been encouraging the world to sleep. In particular, she urges people in top positions of leadership to get their shut eye to help them make better decisions. She sleeps eight hours a day. Even her employees sleep well. And they’re kicking ass.

Live powerfully,

Steve

Keep On Going

Why is it that making a change for ourselves has to involve everyone else we know and love?

Because what you do, I care about because it affects you. What I do, you care about because it affects me. And we all have ideas about what is good and what is bad for us. And we don’t want each other to be hurt.

So when we try to do something new for ourselves, especially in terms of health or wellness, we get a lot of resistance. It hasn’t been tried much. Media hasn’t caught on fire with it. Doctors wouldn’t approve of it. Or just don’t know about it. So naturally, our loved ones are going to question, bug, and all out resist what we try.

Sometimes, the clash ends well. We reach agreements, understanding, and most importantly, we see positive results. And the new stuff becomes commonplace, and we all return to eating egg yolks.

Sometimes, it’s not going to end well. We are just too deeply rooted in something. We’ve been told for so long one way, and we can’t begin to accept the other way. And we end up divided, some eating breakfast as the most important meal of the day, and others skipping it. Hopefully, everyone still sits together at the table to talk.

I’ve experienced both ends of the spectrum. And sometimes, I make compromises. One of the most effective diet changes I’ve made was to eliminate wheat for six months. Depression, mood swings, and joint aches all just vanished. I treated bread and pasta like rat poison. This caused surprise, anger, arguments, silent treatments, awkward situations, and all sorts of emotional turmoil for me, my family, my friends, and even my coworkers.

I spent hours thinking of what to cook, how to cook it, and how to pack food for lunch at work. Lunch with my boss and coworkers became less frequent, and lunchtime became a solitary ordeal. Visiting family often involved heated talks about food. It took a lot of work, a lot of effort, some pain, and tons of thinking to make a wheat-free diet happen. And the results were priceless. Just from that strict period of avoiding wheat, my mind, my body, my life changed for the better.

I still eat bread and desserts once in a while, knowing it’s gonna hurt. And it does. I know my limits. In the long game, I know where I’m headed. And I have to avoid wheat for my wellness. But it’s my decision moment by moment, even after the struggles I overcame. So I move forward.

Here’s the thing. Change comes when you try something new. Or when someone else does. And then, a dialogue opens. One person expresses interest, disgust, excitement about what the other is doing. And from there, it can be a long road to mutual understanding. For that to happen, you’ve got to be willing to share. What are you doing, why, and how.

Sharing means to open yourself up to critique. People get the chance to say things about what you’re doing. And you might feel vulnerable. But it’s the catalyst for change. And if you really believe in what you’re doing, because it’s changed your life, or it’s brought real benefits, or it’s made you a better person, remember the utmost important thing.

To keep on going.

Live powerfully,

Steve

Quick Decision, Slow Revision

Decisions should be made quickly and changed slowly, if ever. (Think and Grow Rich,1938). When I came upon Napoleon Hill’s writing, I experimented. Decide quickly. Be slow to change that decision. It was tough.

I always thought I had to decide slowly. Take time for research, weigh options, and finally go with the best. Once you’ve done that, there’s little room for argument down the road. The decision is set in stone.

It’s a lot of work, though, to have to decide slowly all the time. When I started strength training, I wanted to have a big and muscular upper body. I used the best “workouts” from magazines. The problem with the workouts was that there was no timeline to them. It just said to do this set for these muscles. Then another issue would come the next month, and that one said to do this other set.

I went from one routine to the next, not wanting to settle with one until I found the best. I didn’t have a solid method for myself. The magazine, of course, aims to keep readers hooked on their subscription. This wouldn’t work if there was just one training routine, to be performed over and over, the same way, for months and years. No, they mix it up, ride on people’s confusion, and highlight various stories of celebrity success.

Eventually, I was changing my methods on a daily basis. I would walk into the gym, pick a workout for a part of my body that wasn’t too sore, and do as much weight as I thought I should be able to do. More often than not, the point was to lift the weight. I had low standards of form. I often hurt myself. This led to mental decay. I wasn’t seeing any true progression despite my greatest efforts.

Only at a point of pain and deep misery did I finally snap out of it. I just decided all of a sudden, this is not working. I need a change.

I decided to turn away from body building, and focus on strength training. I looked it up and found a clear solution. So I immediately decided to follow it.

There was a conviction behind my decision. It was so simple that it seemed right. Five exercises. Progressively increase weight. Religiously track progress. Provide room for recovery through rest and deloading. Continue.

My gut told me it was the way to go. So I did. And I went on to lift more than I’ve ever done in my life. I had less pain, less suffering, less confusion.

This is one result of a quick, slow-changing decision. If every decision I made were like this, I think I would be a simpler, more effective, more alive man. Someone “so genuine and unsophisticated that no introduction would serve to introduce him, more than if you introduced a wood chuck to your neighbor.” (Thoreau, Walden 1854)

It’s not natural to jump into something and commit to stay. We only want to jump if we know there’s an easy way out. For everything else, we look around, gather all the information, until we felt comfortable enough to dip in with a toe.

Even after we’ve gone knee deep, we sometimes back out, not liking the temperature of the water, or the murkiness, or the flies.

Let’s end up on the opposite shore. Even if we haven’t painstakingly sought out the calmest water, tasted it, felt the temperature, walked around the edge, and mulled and mulled.

When I think about it, we don’t need all that vacillation. It’s simpler to just swim there, and find another shore if that one doesn’t satisfy.

Live powerfully,

Steve

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Never

Never is time as well.

Because every time, you decide to not do it. Or not say it. Or not think it. To do something never, you build an ever growing series of outcomes from not doing it.

Never is therefore infinite. It is gargantuan. It is consequential. Never is like always. It may even be more.

Deciding on never as the time is less scary when you know that it is actually just the next time that you will need to act. Or not act. It is not all of infinity that you claim. It is now.

Take responsibility for just the next time. The next point on the line. And if you’ve done that, good. That’s great. Worry only for the next moment.

What have you never done? What do you never do? What will you never do?

Live powerfully,

Steve

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