Back to the Grind

There’s a lot going on in life. I have a two year old daughter, a new house in a new state, many new neighbors and friends, and worried about going into a cold winter without a wood-burning fireplace.

So I’ve got a few things on my mind this night of Christmas, 2021. But training remains constant, as it always has, as it always will.

Let’s talk about training.

Since I last wrote, I brought my 5×5 barbell regimen to a temporary halt in order to move to my new home, by truck, halfway across the country. That was a great experience. I packed up my squat stand, bar, and kettlebells, along with the rest of my apartment, and took a two-day drive from California to Texas. Because I had to pack the barbell equipment up, I spent the last couple of training days with my kettlebells.

I continued on with S&S after the move, keeping up the clean and press and snatch practice in between. I did swings and getups on the S&S with the 32kg and 40kg, slowly incorporating the heavier weight into nearly all of the sets. Wanting to develop more skill, I did as many clean and presses and snatches as I could in addition to S&S. At some point I moved on to an alternating schedule of S&S and ROP. I was also experimenting with barbell training. Obviously, this got tiring. I eventually dropped everything to pursue a 13-week cycle of the Rite of Passage only, as written in Enter the Kettlebell (Tsatsouline 2006).

This time on the ROP, I started with the 24kg. I didn’t think it necessary to go back to training with the 16kg, and I did not want to deal with skinned wrists again from that smaller bell. After a few weeks, I was doing five ladders up to five reps of the clean and press: 5(1,2,3,4,5). Not having revisited the text for a while, I continued on with the 24kg for about three weeks at the same number of ladders.

I found that doing this, I wouldn’t be able to further increase my strength or size. So I went back to the text, and lo and behold, there was a small paragraph saying that I should be progressing to the next weight when able to do the top sets. There was also mention, in a different paragraph on a different page, of waiting until able to press the higher weight for five reps. However, this section of the book was written a bit confusingly, so I went with the first fork in the road.

With the 32kg, I started over with three sets of singles. I was barely able to do a set of three clean and presses on the Hard day. It was heavy! After a couple of weeks, I did acclimate. However, one of my shoulders was pretty aggravated from the weeks of pressing. I had a gym incident a long time ago that still bothers me. Pressing seems to have annoyed it, although swings and getups did wonders for my shoulders.

Regardless, I finished week 12 at 5(1,2,3) with 32kg. I tested myself on week 13 on the clean and press and snatch. I put up three presses on each side – not impressive, but the most I’d done to date at least. Snatches were pretty dismal at 80 count by the 10 minute mark, with the 24kg girya. I thought I’d see how long it took me to put up 200 snatches, since that was what I was ready to do that day. It took me just over 29 minutes to do 204 snatches. The following week was pretty dreadful at work.

During the last two weeks of ROP, I began planning my next 13-week training regimen. The general idea I have is to go from explosive strength with kettlebells back to absolute strength with powerlifting. At first I had set my sights on Mass Made Simple by Dan John. Then I realized I didn’t want to do such high rep sets, and wanted to push heavier weights. This was fed in part by reading Marty Gallagher on powerlifting. I got excited thinking about minimal movements, and settled on a program centered around the four core powerlifting exercises.

I’m on a quest still to continue my strength building from years back. I realize that the one factor I neglected when first venturing into powerlifting, body mass increase, was a big one. This time around, I’m purposefully eating more protein and food in general. Earlier, when I first discovered the world of eating good fats, veggies, and clean foods, I realized that I did not need as much food to sustain strength and energy.

However, when I reached my peak that time, I think the key to progressing would have been to increase my body size through eating more. I didn’t do that because at the time I wasn’t interested. I wanted to travel and didn’t have a gym nor time nor resources to train the same way. So I found kettlebells, and that carried me through these past several years quite well. It’s time, however, for the next season of life. It’s time for abundance again.

At the end of the second week of this program, I’m enjoying the feeling of mass again. It’s nice to push bigger weights, to get that barbell on my back again, and to see the effects on my legs, torso, and arms. It’s going to be a few cycles before I get back to my previous meet lifts. That’s okay, I’m going to enjoy every bit of it.

Here’s to a great new year.

Live powerfully,

Steve

Digging out of a hole

Getting sick is never fun. But it’s a great way to reset the ego and appreciate the fragility and beauty of life. I got the flu some time in the first week of November. The symptoms weren’t fully showing, but I could tell I caught something. The next week I would be traveling out of state with family, and I was busy with getting things squared away at work.

So I slept less than I needed, but I was on fire and getting up early every morning to punch in my training sessions. Right at this time, I was also progressing well with squats. I increased to all five sets of five at 155 by this time, and though there was no soreness, I could feel the extra burden. I was eating more and feeling a bit more tired in the mornings. Still, I was feeling strong.

On the following Monday, I got up early as usual. I knew this bug was getting stronger in me, but I thought I would shake it off with a good training session and food. It was cold, much colder than the previous couple of days. I had some coffee and proceeded to my training area. Barefoot, I could hardly stand the sting of the cold ground. I’ve done swings with numb feet before, but this day I felt weak and didn’t muster up the willpower to take the pain. After a couple of warmup squat sets, which did not warm me up, I ran inside to grab my Vibrams. That made things much more bearable, and I finished my session of squats and deadlifts. The whole time, I felt the cold creeping in through my skin, to the bone. I knew I was taking a hit, so I packed on some sweaters and tried to eat more than normal.

On Tuesday morning, I got up and could feel the bug still trying to take over me inside. I felt my immune response building, that faint but ominous tenderness, and knew I needed to bolster my defenses. I took some C with a lot of water. Again it was cold, possibly colder than Monday. I pushed through training, but felt the cold overcoming me. The heat within wasn’t pushing out the cold. As I worked that day, my immune response increased. I was regressing into that miserable state of man cold. Unwisely, I continued to work, as I couldn’t afford to leave my duties unfinished before leaving for my trip. I was so busy I failed to eat anything. By dinner time I was on the couch with shivers, body aches, and fever, and physically tired from the aftermath of my training session.

I spent the night in a state of dizzy delirium, unable to eat, stand, or even really communicate with my wife. I tried to puke it out, which has made me feel much better in the past, but even with the most invasive gouging of my tongue nothing would come out. There was no relief until I finally fell asleep.

Early the next morning, it was go time. Whether I felt alright or not, we had to get to the airport. I made coffee and packed, weak and crouched, but determined. Somehow I thought drinking apple cider would be a good way to get some fast calories. Unfortunately, I’m quite intolerant of high doses of sugar. On an empty stomach, it was a finisher. I had cramps the rest of the day, walking through the airport like a bent zombie. The only thing keeping me functional was the adrenaline response to the tasks at hand. Get our bag checked, get through security, keep the baby and our belongings secure, and get on that plane.

Fast forward a week, and I’m still recovering from the bug. I took enough C to resolve the virus, but not sleeping enough and staying busy did a number on my system. I could feel my kidneys aching from the stress, and my energy endurance was zero. I could still put out power, my neuromuscular structure was intact, but I couldn’t hold up for more than a moment. In the mornings, I would have to take breaks on the couch between making coffee and putting the dishes away.

I actually got to a psychological state where I thought I would never recover. I’m used to getting over bugs in a day, with some vitamin C megadosing and a good nap. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t able to get in a session the next morning. So when this episode of suck persisted beyond a week, I got a little morose. I thought that getting in a training session, as soon as I got a bit of strength back, would snap me out of it. Like a kick start. So mid-second week of my malaise, I got up early and dragged my ass through two very painful sets of swings and getups. I certainly felt better at first, but later that evening I got a pounding headache and more fatigue. It was all I could do to keep my moral up. I had to beat this thing.

I figured out that I needed to eat frequently, in smaller amounts. Normally I eat two big meals a day, at midday and dinner. With the extensive drain on my system, I had to change it up to regain my baseline metabolism. Following a pattern of eat, rest, eat, rest, I slowly got better. I could feel my kidneys relax. Soon after, my liver softened up. I held off on training until I could wake up and not feel fatigue. At the end of two weeks, I was able to put in a couple of sets of squats and deads.

While the sets felt fine, the rest periods in between were wretched. I mostly sat, doubled over, until I caught my breath. Day by day though, I got a little more energy. I also started to get my spirit back. At the end of the third week since getting overcome by the virus, I finally had the strength to complete a full set of Simple & Sinister – 100 swings, and 10 getups. It was a landmark day. I was humbled by my mortality, and convinced of the resilience of my strength.

I’m glad I’m past the dip, and I can’t wait to get back the progress I made earlier on fives. I also can’t wait to see progress on S&S. At the same time, I’m going to be a little more conservative with recovery when I feel that next bug hit me. And I think that’s about it. It’s good to be alive, and as small as this episode of illness is in the grand scheme of things, for me it was a reality check that’s going to stick for a while.

Cold, hot, sick, well, I hope you find the strength to get out there every day and punch in a session.

Live powerfully,

Steve

Change of plans, training regimens

Brilliant friends,

After a week of testing out live filming of my training sessions, I decided to change things up a bit. One problem I have is that my training now takes place just before dawn, and nothing’s visible for the first half of it. No point in filming it. The other problem is that my phone battery dies fast in the cold. Very interesting.

So, I’m moving this Saturday’s live session to 8 a.m. pacific. Rather than train during the live session, I’ll devote 100% to either answering questions or explaining my approach to developing a long term training regimen.

My philosophy on training is that it develops strength and should be used as a daily practice of movement, form, meditation, and discipline. Strength training in the morning galvanizes the spirit, and calms the mind. When you feel physically ready, your mind can relax and act in confidence.

You also can do much less on a daily basis to build strength than you would need to do on a three times a week, twelve weeks per year kind of workout program. There’s no need to exhaust yourself, because you’re going to be back tomorrow.

Let’s talk more on Saturday morning. 8 a.m. pacific. I look forward to seeing you there.

Live powerfully,

Steve

Train with me next week

Training sessions are the core of my days. They give me a physical, mental, and emotional recharge.

I’m going to start live training sessions next week using Instagram live. This is for anyone looking for inspiration on setting a regular strength training regimen. If you’re training regularly already, good. We can compare notes. If you are not practicing a regimen of strength, it’s time to start. Come see what I do.

The first real Q&A will be on Thursday, October 29 at 7 a.m. PST. The second one will be on Saturday, October 31 at 7 a.m. PST. I’ll start training as soon as I get out to my patio, and will hit “live” on Instagram at 7. I’ll finish up my session and see what questions and comments I get. I’m open to some hard criticism too, so lay it on me.

On Thursday, you’ll see squats and deadlifts. On Saturday, swings and getups following Simple & Sinister schooling.

Hope to have all of you there on Instagram. The handle is @thebrilliantbeastblog. I may start testing out the IG live feature earlier in the week to get in the groove, so look out for me on Monday morning.

Live powerfully,

Steve

Back to Squats

It’s the weekend again. Time is flying by. The world is wasting itself trying to wait out the virus. No one knows what that means or looks like. So everyone dumbly waits.

This week has been a solid one for training. I decided to add squats to my PTTP routine of deadlifts and presses. Rather than do two sets of five on squats, I am doing the good 5×5. My reason is that I haven’t squatted for a very long time, and I am in no shape to start with heavy weight. The 2×5 was designed by Pavel Tsatsouline to train beginners with light weight. It’s a four times a week regimen, so there are enough repetitions of movement to get a new strength student accustomed to the lifts without fatiguing him.

However, I’m not new to strength training. Since I’ve squatted 370 lbs. at 168 body weight, I have experience. But I’m currently not at this level of absolute strength. So I found myself in an interesting situation which isn’t much addressed by training programs geared toward the new and the experienced – I’m experienced and rusty.

I’ve been training with kettlebells for the past three years, aside from a few months of barbell training to learn the StrongFirst Lifter instructor ways. This training built a different kind of strength. I’m faster and better wired, in a neurological sense. My shoulders and back are healthier than ever, since sports injuries during high school. But in terms of absolute strength, I needed to start from scratch.

Interestingly, because I’ve built up my swings to the 32kg kettlebell on the Simple & Sinister regimen, I retained some absolute strength on the deadlift. I also boosted strength on the deadlift by training in the Easy Strength method of 10 reps total per session, multiple times a week. So for deadlifts and presses, I went with the 2×5 scheme on PTTP for the past couple of months.

My squat, on the other hand, had very little practice. Aside from get ups, through which I did single leg lunges, I never squatted with very much weight. I needed to start from the beginning, just the greasy bar with naked sleeves.

It took a few sessions to warm up and get my joints accustomed to the load. I’ve been going easy, stopping the set when I felt a little twinge of pain, or that locking sensation in the thighs and calves. Funny how the body tells you when it’s a bad idea to continue.

So here I am, squatting the same loads I started with way back in 2014 on StrongLifts 5×5. I even dusted off Medhi Hadim’s website to refresh my mental catalogue of queues and technique. It feels good to build from the ground up, in a literal and figurative sense.

I’m alternating deads and presses, doing either movement with squats, four days a week. On the rest days I continue with the S&S regimen, although I decided not to use the 40kg on any getups anymore. I found that with so few days of kettlebell training, my neck and shoulders are not keeping the strength I had built up to a couple of months ago. So I’m simply maintaining a level of strength with the 32kg until I can return my focus to the kettlebell.

Live powerfully,

Steve

Current Training Regimen and How This Applies to You

Brilliant friends,

I hope this post finds you well. Most of you in the U.S. are dealing with some level of reduced access to gyms or pull-up bars. Don’t let this hold you back from maintaining your practice of strength. As a matter of fact, you have the opportunity to dive deeper into strength training at home. If you have not considered the kettlebell, let me explain.

My current regimen is Simple & Sinister. It is a kettlebell training regimen consisting of swings and get-ups. Ten sets of ten swings, and ten get-ups divided into five left and five right. I have been using this training regimen for the past three and half years, starting in the summer of 2016 with a 16kg kettlebell. Today my training weight is 32kg or 2 pood, and it has been for over a year.

I recently progressed from two-handed to one-handed swings with this load, which took about two months of active effort. By active, I mean that it was not very easy, and I made very small progressions to lessen the load day-to-day. I had to eat more food than normal, and I had to sleep more on the weekends. I experienced significant hypertrophy at first, then gradually returned to a more normal size as the weeks went by. This advancement took place at the end of last year, and in the four months since then I have continued to develop strength in subtle ways with the same kettlebell.

Get-ups with the 32kg are becoming “easier” every week. I am progressing to one set for each side with the 40kg and learning an immeasurable number of lessons from this.

That is the beauty of daily kettlebell training. It never ends. Learning never stops, if you pay attention. Growth never ceases, if you are disciplined. You come to know more of the infinite irregularities of your single piece of training equipment, cast of iron and forged to last for generations of your family. And more than that, you come to know your strength and your weakness. You will find yourself facing obstacles in every nook and cranny of your physical existence, and even obstacles within your mind and heart.

The kettlebell is just a tool. Buy one if you want to explore the movements in the convenience of your home. But even if you do not have a kettlebell and do not buy one, you can still train your strength every day. Have no excuses for yourself. Set a time and a regimen to follow, one that is not too difficult but that tests your strength and ability. You can do pushups and burpees and pull-ups if you have a bar, squats, jump rope, hill sprints, and all manner of other movements. Again, find a regimen that you can do every day. Do not do something that is too difficult, or you will not do it the next day.

As you decide whether or not to train with kettlebells, consider that you should be training barefoot on solid ground. If you have a flat patch of grass nearby that is ideal. You will need to be able to grip the ground firmly during swings and will need to have a clear space in front of you, in case you lose grip of the kettlebell. For get-ups, you will start and end lying supine, and you will be bearing weight on your elbows and knees. Overly hard or bumpy surfaces will hurt, so find ground on which you can practice comfortably every day.

Read Simple & Sinister by Pavel Tsatsouline before you buy a kettlebell, and before you begin using a kettlebell. Kettlebell training is not for everyone. Understand the principles and assess your physical and mental capabilities for such training. If you do decide to train with a kettlebell, commit fully. You can find gear and FAQ’s on this blog to get started. If you decide not to train with a kettlebell, good for you as well. Find another method of training and commit to that fully.

If you are working from home, you now have all of your commuting time for training. If you lost your job and are searching for work, you have even more time to develop strength, practice movement, and maintain good health through your job search. Build a strong foundation that cannot be rocked.

Live powerfully,

Steve

Change of seasons

Once again the mornings are warmer, and the ground does not freeze my feet. My breath no longer shows white in the dark. The sun climbs out from over the horizon quicker than it did a week ago, and every new day its aura soaks into the black sky a little bit earlier.

It wasn’t as cold as the previous year, though. The spring may prove to be a warm one, and I wouldn’t be surprised if the summer were to be hotter than those of recent memory.

It is raining again, and the rain will continue through the next few weeks before the earth grows hot. Two days ago, the rain sprinkled down lightly enough that I could swing the kettlebell without taking shelter between sets. The handle became a bit too wet to safely grip, though. I found a dry towel in a bag among the things outside that I haven’t yet stored away. I used the towel to wipe the handle down before each set, but eventually I left the towel on the handle and threw it aside just before the set. Some of the chalk on my hands washed away from droplets on the handle, but I was able to keep a firm enough grip on the bell.

Rain is good. It teaches you to not take dryness for granted. Stand in the rain as you train and you’ll learn that your grip on the bell isn’t as solid as you thought. A little slip is okay, but you need to play with the pull of the iron to keep your grip. Keep the handle in your fingers, or else your palm will blister and tear.

Rain will also teach you about your grip on the ground, with your feet. In the rain you’ll need to pay extra attention to keeping your big toes planted and pointed forward, still spreading the floor and not letting your feet swivel out. This has a lot to do with how you distribute your weight through the swing, and your hinging at the hips. You’ll learn to concentrate on driving the force down into the ground as you stand tall.

I think of the garden that my mom let me tend two years ago. Most of the vegetables I planted by seed are gone, brown caked rectangles of dirt where they once sprouted green and fresh. The collards alone survive the negligence of the past years, new stems ever pushing through the earth, mindless of heat or cold or rain or none. Unkept, the stalks will thicken to the size of a child’s wrist, scaly and strong, leaves massive.

Together with the earth, mankind turns in seasons, as man is one with the earth and not separate from her nature. As with a vegetable stalk that becomes tough, the mind becomes calloused and set in its ways, until there is little use left. It is time to cut the plant at its base, leaving the roots in the soil, and allowing the overgrown stalk and leaves to dissolve back into the earth, to become fodder for new growth. Nothing is lost, and everything dead is put to use again by the universe.

Do this with your thinking, with physical training, with social relations. Let the dead shell drop about you so that you can change. There is a point where the things that served you well, the skills and strengths and patterns you employed, may restrict movement. Do not be afraid to cut back into the armor to develop a stronger, more flexible, more resilient, more reasonable suit.

When men in our society train to increase strength, particularly with use of the barbell for absolute strength, they tend to go too far. It is human nature to become excited about one’s initial gain in physical power. A man often finds trouble once the regular increases in his training weight are not so easy to lift. He feels fear that he is not as good as he was in the beginning, when he could surpass himself and beat his own weakness. Most men quit, afraid of hurting themselves. Everyone else continues, stupidly. Rather than determine the level of strength that is necessary for survival and the degree of fitness sufficient for his duties in this life, the stubborn man continues to try to lift more weight. He pushes on, ignoring the pain in his joints, the diminishing abilities to move freely, and the unnecessary burden of nutrition and sleep to sustain the exercise.

Few take the time to slow down and think about the plateau they have reached before pushing themselves too far. This kind of man, whether it be long after many trials of stupidity, or a brilliant first encounter, realizes that his strength does improve in a linear progression. He also does not measure, nor does he care too much about, the numerical value of the weight he can lift. What’s important is how he moves the load.

Women generally know the futility of stubborn training. When a strong woman trains her strength according to her own sense, she tends not to push beyond a reasonable level of difficulty. She rarely injures herself or trains to a degree that inhibits normal movement. And yet she often becomes stronger than many men. Men should learn from strong women how to train strength.

What a great time it is to explore our strength. It takes strength to maintain calm, and how vital it is to remain calm when it is easier to let your fear take hold of you. Wake up, brilliant men and women! Continue to develop your strength, improve your diet, and clear your mind of unwanted thoughts, a little every day. If you find your season changing, shed your old skin and let yourself grow anew. Do it aggresively.

Do not let anyone else control your body, or your movements, or your mind, or your heart. Breathe freely, and act according to your principles. If you are young and strong, encourage those around you who are old or weak. Smile even if you are afraid. Do not let their fear seep into your mind, and gently assure them that all is well and promote good health and courageous living. Who else will do this, if not you?

Remember that each of us can choose how to behave. Be calm. Be brave. Treat your fellow man with dignity and respect. Create peace and solidarity within your family and let that be shared with the rest of your community. Do not give furtive looks at others as you pass them in the street. Don’t listen to too much news. Respect authority but don’t lose your mind in whatever you do.

Live powerfully,

Steve

Squat heavy and face fear

Squat heavy and you know the deep level of psychological transformation you undergo to dip into the hole and come back. Hard training is different from hard life situations. In training, you control the level of difficulty and commit to it. In life, you can’t control the level of difficulty or the timing.

This is why training is so important. Physical training can prepare you for the hardships of life. The preparation comes from your mental capacity to deal with higher levels of sustained stress. Whether it is a physical load or a mental burden of fear, the same workings within the mind and body take place in response. Training teaches you to continue to function with precision under pressure.

When you train under heavy load, you will learn to stay calm while under pressure. It is physical pressure in training, but your mind must also deal with that force. You may want to escape, you might fear that the load will crush you, or you might panic in the belief that you won’t be able to make the lift. When you reach the level of skill where you can train with loads over twice your body weight, the principles will be magnified.

The squat simulates these pressures well because the load is above you and there is no external resting point for the weight. Once you unrack the weight, you are directly between the load and the ground. Contrast this with the deadlift, in which the weight could be dropped to the floor.

Without an immediate escape, the way to properly deal with the load is to accept it. Become comfortable with the weight. Grip the bar ever tighter, pull it down into the groove between your shoulders and back, let the bar become part of you. Find balance vertically and horizontally in your new, unwieldy shape. Keep in your peripheral vision the plates at the ends of the barbell. Gently hold them in awareness.

Balance the bar like a tightrope walker. Stay between your feet, as if you were on an island in the middle of a massive blue ocean. Grip the floor with your feet. Root yourself down like a thousand year old oak.

Keep your back tight and your ribs locked down. Your body is a concrete pillar. Allow only the movement of your hips and knees, opening and closing naturally as you descend and then ascend.

The only other movement comes from the belly as you pull in air to the bottom of your lungs. Press against the belt if you wear one, or build up an airtight balloon with your abdomen in lieu of a belt.

When you’re squatting double your mass or more, you will begin to feel the pressure. It’s a different force from the one on your back. It’s the pressure of fear and intimidation. The familiar feeling, if you’ve been bullied, of a bigger or stronger enemy staring down at you, threatening to crush you. The pressure is in your mind now, it’s crept in from the weight on the bar and is now knocking on the door of your soul.

The first stages of this level of difficulty in training will be easier to navigate. By this point you’ve built enough strength to be able to suck in a deep breath and blow past the fear.

Later, when the weight becomes nearly unbearable, you’ll learn to face it. Rather than stomping through the thin curtain, you see that it’s now a wall. The fear can’t be shaken from your head. Now, you’ve got to stay with it in there. Don’t waste your time or energy trying to run from it. Rather, root your feet harder into the ground, grip the bar tighter against your back, and solidify your belly right against that fear. Face it, and accept it.

You’ll see that this new pressure, the fear and intimidation, are merely different forms of load. All you need to do is recognize this, and make this pressure as much a part of you as the bar and the plates on your back. The fear that soaks your heart, the intimidation that fills your mind, they are fine.

Tighten yourself up and lock them in as you descend, and rise.

Apply this to life. You don’t have to squat heavy to use this principle. The next time you face someone or something that scares you, don’t run. Stay and face it, grip it, make it a part of you, and rise.

Live powerfully,

Steve

Getting Sleep with a Newborn

Brilliant friends!

About a year ago, I wrote about how I was trying to figure out how to sleep better. I set a routine around a two-hour train commute, getting up at 4 a.m. and sleeping around 10 p.m. Having dinner on the ride home gave me time to digest before going to bed. This improved sleep quality, although I was still tired on many mornings. I wanted to relax at home and talk with my wife, and I often stayed up past my prescribed bedtime. So there was a stretch where I was squeezing it all in, the train rides and work, evenings and sleep, and strength training.

Well, that was twelve months ago and much has changed since. During my wife’s late stages of pregnancy, I started to drive to work in case I needed to come for her on a moment’s notice. This shortened the commute by about half an hour, but I couldn’t eat while driving. I traded the benefit of eating early with the joy of eating at home with my wife. Although I ate later and didn’t sleep as soundly, I did have a little more time to sleep in the morning.

Then, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby, and I went on parental leave. Just before my leave, though, I took on a management role at my job. At the same time, I accomplished the StrongFirst Lifter barbell coaching certification. Within a week, my life became quite different.

All went well with my wife’s labor and delivery. When the baby was first born, we slept little. We woke the baby every couple of hours to feed her, day and night. We learned  she was having tummy issues with some of the food we ate. Until we figured out which foods to avoid to ease the pain of gas in her belly, our ears were tested by her unceasing crying. We discovered that whatever foods gave me gas, gave the baby gas, even if it didn’t affect my wife!

My wife and I were so short on sleep we had hallucinations. When I got up to walk the little human after her nursing, I was often in a daze of half-consciousness. I carried her around in the dark until my arms were numb with aching, my ears turned raw, and still I carried her more, holding her close. When she fell asleep in my arms, I would sometimes sit down and fall asleep too. I was amazed that my arms still held her when I woke an hour later, even when I ended up lying on my back with her on my chest.

My wife, still recovering from birthing our baby, stayed up to nurse her. Because she was also using the breast pump, the cycle of nursing gave her about an hour and a half of sleep at a time. She could barely wake when the alarm sounded, and often moved about with glazed eyes. She also endured the pain of sitting on a recovering bottom while nursing the baby for up to an hour at a time. Her parents and I prepared food and drink for her to have in bed. She needed all the nourishment she could get to make milk, and heal.

I saw a new kind of strength forming in us, the strength of parents. I had always thought of my wife as a warrior of sorts. Seeing her persevere as a mother in the most desperate hours of the night proved me right. It might not seem difficult to hold a tiny baby to let it suckle. But a nursing woman gives the essence of her being to her baby through her milk. All of her nutritional resources are tapped to make this food. She tirelessly wakes, positions herself and the baby so it can comfortably feed, and holds that position for fear of the baby unlatching. Every moment in the beginning is crucial for the baby to receive enough nourishment.

For the new mother, this must be done with her entire body in a state of trauma, just having been stretched to the point of bursting and just having gone through the event of birthing unparalleled by any physical sport endeavor. And, with that, only sips of sleep allowed by the universe despite her desperate thirst for it.

A newborn baby knows to drink from its mother, but the baby must learn to adapt to her mother’s body. She needs to get used to her mother’s breasts and belly and how to position herself in order to receive her nourishment. The baby will writhe and cry and even scream in agony in between good latches on her source of milk. And the mother must endure this initial adaptation for several days, if not weeks.

Seeing my wife go through this struggle gave me the false sense that I too was having the same struggle. But I learned that as the father, it was not my body feeding the baby. It was not me that needed to hold and nurse and stay awake and learn with the baby to nurse. I did everything I could to help position the baby, provide food and water for my wife, and set up a comfortable nursing place. But my role was different and I had to take that on without feeling guilt.

I heard from the maternity classes and books that the father must get sleep in order to be of use when the baby was born. I knew it must be true but didn’t realize the truth until the baby was born. It was hard to let my head rest when my wife was struggling. But it was necessary for me to sleep so that I could help her in my fullest capacity.

Ironically, it was so easy to fall asleep that I was able to nap almost on command. Since I didn’t work, I could actually drop down and sleep the moment I wanted to. The tricky part was to convince myself that I needed to sleep. There was always something to do! Between cooking, laundry, cleaning, and setting up breast pump materials, it was easy to get fired up about doing more. At times, I denied the dull ache of tiredness. But I learned to routinize sleep after a few terrible episodes of prolonged baby crying on no sleep.

A couple of days after returning from the hospital with our baby, I started a regular training rhythm with my kettlebells. Strength practice was one of the anchors in the storm of newborn care. It allowed me to create and release tension. Because I was able to create more tension in training than I had already built up from carrying and soothing the baby, I was able to release the whole of it.

Kettlebell training also rebalanced my body. I often carried the baby on one shoulder or arm longer than the other. After waking from a nap, I would be unable to extend the one arm fully, and one side of my back would be tighter.  Kettlebell clean and presses, swings, and Turkish get ups reset my nervous system and relaxed the tight areas. And of course, it made it easier to fall into deep naps.

I realized, from all the books and articles and pamphlets on baby care we read, that most experts don’t remember the first days after birth. They might remember the general difficulty and the long nights. They know the timing of certain baby development landmarks. However, I doubt that more than a handful actually remember the intense pain, the relentless crying, carrying the baby beyond the limits of sleep, patience, strength, and consciousness. I doubt more than a few remember the intense anger and sorrow and confusion and utter helplessness. Most don’t remember the moments when they wanted to quit, to throw the baby, to slam a fist through a wall, to weep, to tear oneself apart, to murder doctors and nurses, and to scream at family and friends. And even if they did, there would be no way to remember how it actually felt.

Humans are capable of great strength. Motherhood and fatherhood are among the greatest builders of this strength. With each step beyond my own limits, I knew I was growing stronger. Tests of our strength are necessary to push deep into the soul, to knead the spirit and shape it into a more resilient form.

The physical involves the emotional and the mental. Our conventional academic view of life separates the physical happenings from the mental and emotional. It is imperative to deliberately push oneself physically in preparation for the great emotional and mental trials that arise throughout life.

With all that being said, I guess I will sleep easily when I need to. As much as I try to shape my days to optimize sleep, it is also important to keep pushing myself harder. I find it more satisfying to really go for it than to stay comfortable all day long. Why walk when I can run? Why stay silent when I can mobilize to action? Why let happen when I can make happen.

Optimize sleep time while optimizing the waking hours.

Live powerfully,

Steve

Eating more fat and skipping breakfast

Brilliant friends,

What do I do when I get hungry after drinking butter coffee? I eat.

The more I ate good fats from grass fed animals, the more I was able to use fat as an energy source and building block. At first, I noticed that a little bit of butter tasted delicious and made me feel great. When I ate more the next time, I found that I became very full. The next time I ate even more, I wasn’t able to use all of it efficiently. It was obvious that some of the fat had been excreted. I dialed back a bit, and over time I found that I could eat more fat and use it efficiently.

There are many factors within the body that allow you to digest and metabolize fat, like stomach acid strength and gall bladder function. Different fats are used differently by the body as well. Some saturated fats are used to build cell membranes, others are used for energy by way of the liver, and very small chain fats, like C-8 fatty acid, are easily converted into ketones and used by the brain as fuel.

If you normally do not eat much fat, you’ll find that eating just a little bit can bring a deeply satisfying feeling. The fullness, or satiety, from good fat is stronger and lasts longer than the fullness from sugar and other carbohydrates. It is possible to be full without feeling cravings, when you eat enough fat. Once you clearly distinguished the two phenomena, you’re likely to never miss the strangeness of still wanting to eat after having eaten a large meal that did not have enough good fat.

Butter coffee in the morning has been a wonderful way for me to eat enough good fat each day. Every day, I blend grass fed butter, MCT (C-8) oil, and cacao powder with my freshly brewed coffee. Six years ago, my first real cup of butter coffee had two tablespoons of butter, as prescribed by the “bulletproof” Dave Asprey. Today, I have about four tablespoons in the morning, in about three cups of coffee. This has been the same for about three years.

If you are making butter coffee as a part of your daily routine, you can Increase the amount of butter if you feel hungrier than usual that morning. This will be affected by the previous day’s activities and your own body adapting to fat digestion. The more butter, the creamier your coffee will be. Don’t hesitate to try a little more to see how you feel.

This is also a way to delay a first meal and still have a lot of nutrition in the morning. When I first started drinking butter coffee, I was still eating a full breakfast along with it. Over time I added more butter to my coffee, and ate less breakfast. Eventually, I let go of breakfast. I now usually eat lunch a little past 12 p.m. These were natural progressions, nothing force or scheduled. Figure out your needs and adjust to them, until you find a groove where you are energized, satiated, and feeling positive.

This will be different for everyone. You’re probably not going to have the same experience as I did with eating more fats, and the next person you talk to who is doing the same will have a different way altogether. Look for signs of change in how you feel, look, and think. Use the feedback to make small changes.

Live powerfully,

Steve